Do you fancy yourself the next Jon Stewart, only with better grooming habits?
Or perhaps a Samantha Bee, only more nourished, so you don’t have to resort to gnawing on microphones?
Or, best of all, are you a political satirist with your own fun, smart, distinctive voice who just happens to be looking for a place to write where the pay is terrible and the amount of glory is even worse?
If so, you’ve come to the right place!
What’s right for us: unique, funny takes on current news, including political and pop culture; satirical op-eds; charts and infographs; original videos; and political cartoons. Please familiarize yourself with our voice and approach to topics, then e-mail us at pitches[at]thenewsflasher[dot]com with ideas you have for specific articles or cartoons, as well as a brief description of your background. In the subject line, write a very short description of the idea you have for an article, such as “How to Achieve Total Peace in the Middle East: A Flowchart,” by Jared Kushner. If you’re writing about breaking news and already have a draft of a piece you think might be right for us, go ahead and send it! All breaking news pieces must be turned around immediately before the news is, you know, broken.
Also, this should go without saying, but — no plagiarizing! (We’re looking at you, Melania.)
Okay, so, we currently cannot pay writers…
… and we know that bites, but hope to be in a position to pay writers in the near future. We have big plans! Big dreams! But, currently, a budget that’s even smaller than Trump’s hands. This is the perfect opportunity for comedy writers looking to build their portfolio and/or develop a relationship with a site that will eventually have employment opportunities — so long as Trump doesn’t Tweet us into a nuclear apocalypse.
On that note, have a wonderful day! Hope to work with you soon.
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New Site! Glowing Reviews!
“Is this site tremendous now? Sure. But it’ll go downhill bigly once it turns 35.” –President Donald Trump
“Needs more cheese.” –Kim Jong-un