in

Trump Tells Australian Prime Minister “I Look Like a Dope,” Plus 6 Other Gems From Calls With Leaders

The White House had better hire a plumber because the leaks are out of control. The latest: The On-Fire Washington Post got its hands on the transcripts of Trump’s calls with the president of Mexico and prime minister of Australia. And, well, let’s just say it’s even more embarrassing than you could imagine. Which is saying a lot. It’s hard to pare them down, but here are seven of the stupidest quotes culled from his calls WITH GLOBAL LEADERS:

#1 –TRUMP TO PEÑA NIETO: “I won New Hampshire because New Hampshire is a drug-infested den.”

Um, Hillary won New Hampshire. And “Drug-Infested Den” will make a sweet state welcome sign!

#2 – TRUMP TELLS TURNBULL of taking 1,250 immigrants who landed in Australia, as agreed: “I hate taking these people. I guarantee you they are bad. That is why they are in prison right now. They are not going to be wonderful people who go on to work for the local milk people.”

Fun fact: “Local Milk People” also used to be the name of a ’90s ska band that toured shopping malls and dairy farms.

#3 – TRUMP TO PEÑA NIETO: “In the latest election, I won with a large percentage of Hispanic voters. I do not know if you heard, but with Cuba, I had 84 percent with the Cuban American vote. But overall generally, I had well over 30 percent, and everyone was shocked to see this. I understand the community, and they understand me, and I have a great respect for the Mexican people.”

He did not win 84 percent of the Cuban-American vote. If you’re wondering why that statistic stinks, it’s because he pulled it out of his ass.

#4 – TRUMP TO TURNBULL: “Look, I spoke to Putin, Merkel, Abe of Japan, to France today, and this was my most unpleasant call.”

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY PUTS THAT SHRIMP-ON-THE-BARBIE-LOVIN’ AUSTRALIA IN ITS PLACE!

#5 – TRUMP TO TURNBULL: “What is the thing with boats? Why do you discriminate against boats?”

Maybe because they sink, much like Trump’s presidency.

#6 – TRUMP TO PEÑA NIETO: “In Ohio, they are having rallies for Trump right now because Trump has taken a hard stance on Mexico.”
#7 – TRUMP TO TURNBULL: “I look like a dope.”

Finally. Trump makes a truthful statement.

Today’s Hottest Flashes!

Samantha Bee Goes to Iraq, Finds Huge Trump Fans Among… Muslims?