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Trump Responds to Abuse Allegations Against Rob Porter — Here Are Five Responses That Would Have Been Better

Not a single mention of the victims. Sad!

“Psssst. Tell ’em how awesome and innocent I am!”

When asked about allegations of domestic violence against his staff secretary, Rob Porter, that forced the top aide to resign this week, Trump told reporters during an unscheduled photo-op:

“We found out about it recently and I was surprised by it, but we certainly wish him well and it’s a tough time for him. He did a very good job when he was in the White House. He also, as you probably know, says he’s innocent and I think you have to remember that. He said very strongly yesterday that he’s innocent so you have to talk to him about that, but we absolutely wish him well, he did a very good job when he was at the White House.”

Huh. Might I propose some statements that would have been better?

  1. “No comment beyond he no longer works here.”
  2. “I have a no-tolerance policy when it comes to such allegations, which is why he was fired as soon as I found out. Okay, well, I tolerate it sometimes, but no more!”
  3. “Rob Porter is a doo-doo head who needs serious help.”
  4. Lock him up! Lock him up!
  5. “Let me just say I feel bad for the women and if they need to commiserate with somebody who understands, I can put them in touch with my¬†ex-wife.

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