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Today’s Hottest Flashes!

“Don’t worry, Vlad. We’ll follow the sanctions until… we don’t.”

TRUMP RELUCTANTLY SIGNS RUSSIA SANCTIONS, while also releasing a statement condemning it for being “unconstitutional” and bragging “I built a truly great company worth many billions of dollars. That is a big part of the reason I was elected. As President, I can make far better deals with foreign countries than Congress.”Surprisingly, he did not mention his electoral college victory.

Q: Before he signed the sanctions bill, did Trump have a convo with Putin?

CONWAY: “Oh, I can’t comment on that and I’m not aware of that.”


WHITE HOUSE ADMITS TRUMP LIED ABOUT MEXICO CITY AND BOY SCOUTS CALLING HIM. Which reminds me of a song…


TRUMP BACKS PLAN TO CURB LEGAL IMMIGRATION BY GRADING IMMIGRANTS ON WHETHER THEY SPEAK ENGLISH AND HAVE EMPLOYABLE SKILLS So, a test even the president couldn’t pass.

  • CNN reporter Jim Acosta challenges ban as antithetical to Statue of Liberty. White House advisor and unfinished evil Muppet, Stephen Miller, dismisses silly Statue of Liberty “poem” as meaningless. Fun! Let’s watch:

I’m going stand up for those who really need our help — WHITE COLLEGE APPLICANTS!, says president who got into Penn by being a legacy of rich man who donated millions to the university. As did his kids.


LOS ANGELES HOSTING 2028 OLYMPICS.


NORTH KOREAN MISSILE TEST NOT SO SUCCESSFUL, AFTER ALL?


Former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio convicted of criminal contempt. But don’t worry — he’ll meet plenty of “friends” in jail who will stop and frisk him.


8 Ways Trump Can Make That “Real Dump” of a White House Shine!

Trump Tells Australian Prime Minister “I Look Like a Dope,” Plus 6 Other Gems From Calls With Leaders