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    Making Mean Girls Day Even More Fetch with the Help of Trump et. al

    It’s the day you’ve all been waiting for! No, no, we don’t mean Kids Eat Free Day at Denny’s, but rather… Mean Girls Day.

    Here’s the backstory: In the popular 2004 film there’s a scene where oh-so-dreamy Aaron Samuels turns to Cady Heron in class and asks her what day it is.

    “It’s October 3rd,” she answers breathlessly.

    And, well, that’s extent of it. As if that weren’t exciting enough, we at the NewsFlasher have honored the big day by matching Mean Girls quotes with just the right pictures of Trump & Friends.

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    White House Officials Offer Thoughtful Statements on Hurricane Harvey

    Hold on to your cowboy hats, Texas — Hurricane Harvey means business. In fact, Harvey has strengthened to a Category 3 storm with 125 mph winds — wait, scratch that, it’s already been elevated to a Category 4 with 130 mph winds since I’ve written that — and even stronger gusts. Residents staying in the area descended upon grocery stores for the usual natural disaster fare — bread, milk, wine and, hopefully, condoms — while others heading out of the storm’s path boarded up windows and doors, and made sure to take their most treasured possessions, such as pets, heirlooms and Xboxes. Most tragically of all, more than 31,000 people DON’T HAVE WIRELESS, having lost power as a result of Hurricane Harvey, so teenagers will be forced to talk directly to their parents. It’s a horrifying time, indeed.

    In all seriousness, I hope those in Harvey’s path heed warnings and stay safe. Meteorologists are saying the storm’s effects will linger for days, with heavy rainfall through next week estimated to be as high as 40 inches — or one Kevin Hart — in some areas.

    Our leaders in the White House also imparted their thoughts and prayers:

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    Who is Mike Pence?

    In anticipation of tonight’s exciting vice presidential de —

    Oops. Sorry. Dozed off there for a moment.

    AS I WAS SAYING. In anticipation of the VP debate (zzzzzz), here’s Full Frontal‘s Samantha Bee with a primer on Indiana governor-slash-Trump whipping boy Mike Pence.

    “Basically, the reason Brooklyn is full of Midwesterners.” –Pence’s new Twitter bio.

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