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So, Yeah, About That Wall…

The guy who promised that Mexico would pay for the wall says he’ll shut down the government if Americans don’t pay for the wall.

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The White House finally admits they can’t get Mexico to pay for it. And by “admitting,” I mean avoiding the question when reporters ask about it, kind of like my six-year-old when I ask him if he’s picked up his toys.

REPORTER AT TODAY’S PRESS BRIEFING: Sarah, the president promised over and over again during the campaign that Mexico would pay for the wall. So why is he now threatening a government shutdown if Congress won’t pay for it?

SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS: The president’s committed to making sure this gets done. We know that the wall and other security measures at the border work. We’ve seen that take place over the last decade, and we’re committed to making sure the American people are protected. And we’re going to continue to push forward and make sure that the wall gets built.

ME: Son, you’ve promised over and over again that you’d pick up your Legos. So why are you up here watching TV?

SON: I’m committed to making sure they get picked up, Mom. We know the Legos will be put away after I pick them up. We’ve seen that happen over the past four years of my life, and I’m committed to making sure your feet are protected from the pain Legos on the floor can inflict. And I’m going to continue to push forward and make sure those Legos get picked up somehow. Even if it means waiting until you’re so frustrated that you do it yourself.

With Trump now threatening to shut down the government over Congress funding the border wall, reporters were all over Sarah like white on rice — and her (non-)responses were very telling. Asked four times, she totally declined to reiterate that Mexico would pay for the wall. Each time, she deflected.

If you’ll remember, Trump had promised:

“I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and I’ll have Mexico pay for that wall.”

And now he wants us to pay for it?

I’ve got a better idea: How bout we don’t build a wall, invest the money in modern schools, worker re-training, and new roads and transit, and get the government to shut down the guy who wanted to build the wall instead?

Politics

We Hit the Campaign Trail with Roy Moore — You’ll Never Believe What We Found

Just a normal, not-at-all pedophilic guy.

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Alabama GOP Senate candidate Roy Moore shows no signs of withdrawing from the race, even though five women have accused him of pursuing and assaulting them when they were teenagers–so aggressively so that he was banned from the local mall. But we are nothing if not completely impartial here at The NewsFlasher, so we thought we’d balance out the l’il pedophilia factor by covering a day in his campaign. Here’s what we saw…

8:00 a.m. — Moore canvasses wooded areas of the neighborhood to have one-on-one talks with “potential supporters.” Such a personal touch!

11:00 a.m. — Moore selflessly promotes civic engagement by jumping at the opportunity to spend some time with a local Girl Scout troop.

1:00 p.m. — A huge champion of education, Moore eats at the local high school to get a feel for what the students’ needs are. 

3:00 p.m. — Being the avid reader that he is, Moore shops at the local mall for books to enjoy over the holidays. The cashier keeps furtively looking over at him, clearly in awe of being in the presence of a future senator!

3:15 — Minutes later, security storms the book store and abruptly escorts Moore out of the mall. How rude!

5:00 — Moore dictates a nasty Tweet about Mitch McConnell to one of his staffers. “Twitter it!” he instructs.

6:00 — Moore takes it upon himself to groom a potential intern he spots at a rally.

8:00 p.m. — Moore unwinds from his hectic day of campaigning by watching a relaxing movie.

See? Just a normal, not-at-all pedophilic guy.

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Politics

8 Reasons Why Republicans Won’t Impeach Trump

Totally solid reasons.

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Oh, Trump, look what you made Dems do!

Thanks to Trump’s multiple “violations of the U.S. Constitution” and all-around ineptitude, House Democrats today welcomed the president back from his Asia trip by — surprise! — introducing articles of impeachment against him, as announced by Rep. Cohen:

Of course, we know it’s not going to lead anywhere as long as Republicans control the House. But why is that, exactly, when Trump has insulted pretty much the whole lot of them and does silly things like collude with hostile foreign governments? We explore the top explanations in this well-researched list of “8 Reasons Why Republicans Won’t Impeach Trump”:

#1 – Paul Ryan is too busy searching for his balls.

#2 – Paul Ryan is too busy waiting for a spine donation.

#3 – Paul Ryan is too busy inviting folks to his gun show.

#4 – Rep. Louie Gohmert is too busy piecing together more amazing conspiracy theory charts, alone in the basement of the House.

#5 – RELATED: Gohmert also is unable to receive reality-based messages while wearing his favorite hat.

#6 – House Republicans are too busy playing Hannity’s new game show, “Clinton Family Conspiracy Feud.”

Survey says… Hannity’s desperate.

#7 – Trump has charmed all of them with his smarts, charisma and leadership.

#8 – They’d rather keep their jobs by pandering to Trump’s base of White Nationalists, sexists and xenophobes than do what’s right.

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Hypocrisy Report

Anti-Abortion Rep. Tim Murphy Resigns After Report He Asked Mistress to Have Abortion. LOL!

How do you spell hypocrisy? M-U-R-P-H-Y.

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If you’re feeling a little chilly this fall morning, then snuggle up to Rep. Tim Murphy’s career, which is currently going up in flames…

Murphy, who’s quite popular with the pro-life groups for supporting legislation to cut federal funding for abortion and Planned Parenthood and co-sponsoring a 20-week abortion ban that passed in the House Tuesday, has resigned after a report surfaced earlier this week that he had asked his extramarital lov-ah to end her pregnancy — BY TEXT.

Oh, Timmy. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. I hope you at least used the “PLEASE!” emoji.

(more…)

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Politics

Donald J. Trump and John F. Kelly: On the Rocks!

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Doesn’t look like Trump will be getting a “BEST BOSS” mug from his chief of staff, John F. Kelly, any time soon.

(more…)

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Politics

Trump Energy Official Who Insulted Obama’s Mama on Twitter “Resigns”

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“I would NEVER call Obama’s mom a fourth-rate porn star. She’s first-rate, all the way!”

William C. Bradford, a Trump administration appointee who headed the Energy Department’s Office of Indian Energy, resigned today over nasty comments that were magically penned by his Twitter account — comments he swears weren’t his! Comments that questioned Obama’s birth certificate (how original) and called the former president’s mother “a fourth-rate porn actress and wh*re.”

I would say William C. Bradford is the one who likes to screw himself, but no…! This was the work of hackers, of course! All hackers and “social impostors!” Never mind William C. Bradford has a verifiable history of making inflammatory comments on Twitter, including:

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