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Paul Ryan Contemplating Leaving Congress after 2018 Elections

They say he’s “soul searching.” Hope he finds his spine in there.

After nearly a year of enabling Trump’s racism, sexism and xenophobia, House Speaker Paul Ryan is thinking about hanging up his gavel.

But not his weights! Never his weights.

Those people close to Ryan told CNN they believe it is possible that he could leave Congress after the 2018 midterm elections, if he can achieve his goal of screwing over most Americans with the rushed, error-filled tax plan that offers the biggest shift of wealth to the rich since Reagan. What a legacy!  However, some say his departure could possibly happen even before he taxes kids’ school pencils to pay for corporate tax cuts, because he “particularly dislikes the toll the job takes on his family,” according to multiple sources, and “is in the pockets of Russia and totally freaking out,” according to even more totally credible sources on Twitter.

Also, his congressional gym membership is up soon, so…

Very Important Chart: Which Spawn of the GOP is Even Less Popular Than Smurfs: The Lost Village (on Rotten Tomatoes)?

Today’s Fallen Tribute: Rep. Blake Farenthold