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    James Corden’s Melania Trump Dreams of Being Part Of Our World In ‘Little Mermaid’ Parody

    She’s got diamonds and purses a’plenty, she’s got Donald’s hair pieces galore.

    But James Corden’s “Melania Trump” wants moooooore.

    The Late Late Show host hilariously transformed himself into the First Lady (if she were to skip a few visits to the facial waxer, that is) and puts his impressive pipes to work in parodying “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid. Accompanied by dancers and a few Russian performers, “Melania” pines for the day she can get “out of these quarters” and “spend a day with a grown man.”

    “Betcha out there they understand that they can’t seduce their daughters,” she adds, referencing Donald Trump’s gross comments about how “if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I would be dating her.” “Melania” continues, “But there’s women sick of him and ready to stand.”

    “Melania”‘s musical fantasy of leaving Washington, D.C. to return to her old life is interrupted, however, when the president calls out from the other room.

    Worst. Wake-up call. Ever.

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    10 Best Responses to the New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl

    It’s official: thanks to Tom Brady leading a fourth-quarter comeback against the Jaguars, the New England Patriots will face the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl on February 4. As usual, the Internet had no shortage of reactions to share…

    #1 – So, um, New Yorkers are taking the news well.

    Read More

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    Stephen Miller Defends President Trump in Contentious CNN Interview (with Pauly Shore)

    via Funny or Die

    Stephen Miller (Pauly Shore) appears on CNN’s The Lead with Jake Tapper to discuss former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon’s relevance to the Trump administration and important matters such as the president’s various nicknames for him beyond “Sloppy Steve.” The interview takes a heated turn as the fake news anchor stubbornly refuses to acknowledge that Trump is “Jesus, Gandhi, MLK and Ronald McDonald all wrapped up in one beautiful specimen.”

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    Samantha Bee on Aziz Ansari: “If You Say You’re a Feminist, Then F*ck Like a Feminist”

    Finally! The moment we’ve been waiting for is here: Women speaking out has led to men (and some women) speaking about how unfair it was that the women got to speak in the first place.

    Men’s bravery primarily has been prompted by the recent article alleging that comedian Aziz Ansari acted coercively while trying to hook up with a woman he had just met, including continuing to whip out his penis and stick his fingers in the woman’s mouth after she complained that she was feeling “forced” to do something with which she wasn’t comfortable.

    Hey, it wasn’t rape!, they cry. She could have left! they roar. It hits a little too close to home, they whimper.

    In response to the outcry, Samantha Bee says, “We know the difference between a rapist, a workplace harasser and an Aziz Ansari. That doesn’t mean we have to be happy about any of them …It doesn’t have to be rape to ruin your life, and it doesn’t have to ruin your life to be worth speaking out about… If you don’t want to tune into your partner’s feelings throughout sex, maybe Mr. Ansari shouldn’t be engaging in sexual activity with a woman at all. May I suggest a coin purse? Or a Ziploc bag full of grape jelly?”

    Alternatives are available

    “If you say you’re a feminist, then fuck like a feminist,” Samantha continues. “And if you don’t want to do that, take off your fucking pin because we are not your accessories.”

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    Wow! President Trump’s Stellar Physical Exam Results Land Him Cover of Men’s Health

    President Trump recently underwent his first physical examination as president, and the 71-year-old apparently is as healthy as a horse!

    Trump: as healthy as a horse

    The White House physician said the president received a perfect score on a cognitive test designed to screen for neurological impairment and his health was “excellent,” with mostly normal results on a battery of tests and examinations. In fact, he’s surely the healthiest, fittest, most virile president in the history of the United States — nay, the universe. Many people are saying. Not surprisingly, these enviable results have landed the president the coveted cover of Men’s Health:

     

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    LEAKED: Draft Trump Tweets Commemorating MLK Day

    A source in the Trump camp has released the draft messages the president was considering posting in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. As you’ll see, Trump sets a tremendous example for how to commemorate the revered civil rights icon with grace and respect.






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    Instagram Reportedly Withholds Likes to Keep Users Coming Back for More

    According to a report from California startup Dopamine labs (a name that deserves its own investigation), Instagram reportedly withholds “likes,” drip-feeding likes to less frequent users — in hopes of making them feel insecure and driving them to check back to see if they’ve gotten more likes. The strategy, claims Dopamine Labs’ Head of Business Development, Matt Mayberry, is that the user will be disappointed with the amount of likes they received on a particular post and compel them to return. “They’re tying in to your greatest insecurities,” Mayberry said.

    Mayberry’s comments underscore how social media giants exploit the human need for approval to get people hooked on endless updates. Ex-Facebook president Sean Parker said something similar at an Axios event last year, when he described the Facebook “like” button as a “little dopamine hit.” The site creates a “social-validation feedback loop…because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology,” Parker said. And before long…

    This is you.

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