Hard to forget the second presidential debate, when the Orange Clown followed Hillary around the stage, creepily peering down at her and licking his lips like a vapid vampire about to suck on her brain in hopes of consuming actual knowledge. Well, that freak show continues to haunt Hillary, as well, as she details in the first excerpts of her upcoming memoir, “What Happened,” which I plan to read with a box of tissues, copious glasses of wine and a Trump voodoo doll.
“My skin crawled,” Hillary relates in the above audio clip of her reading from the book. “It was one of those moments where you wish you could hit pause and ask everyone watching ‘well, what would you do?'”
She says she considered telling Trump, “Back up, you creep, get away from me” (which would have been totally awesome, even though you just know some would have cried, “What an emotional woman! How can she handle dictators if she can’t handle a man standing behind her?!”) and in order to keep her composure, she gripped the microphone “extra hard” — and now perhaps wishes she had chosen to tell him off instead.
“It certainly would have been better TV,” she admits. “Maybe I have over-learned the lesson of staying calm, biting my tongue, digging my fingernails into a clenched fist, smiling all the while, determined to present a composed face to the world.”
If only she had done this with her clenched fist:
Then continued without missing a beat, “As I was saying about my five-point education plan…”
A good lesson learned for future elections: when presented with a candidate who stalks and one who shimmies, ALWAYS PICK THE SHIMMY-ER!