“God Blesh the United Shtaches,” Slurs Preshidensh Donald Trump

During his speech announcing Jerusalem as the new home of the U.S. embassy in Israel, which has drawn condemnation from world leaders, sent shock waves through the Muslim world and sparked violent Israeli-Palestinian clashes, Donald Trump managed to put the focus solely where it should be: his loose dentures.

“And open our hearsh and mindsh…” As you can hear, Trump sounds like the last guy in the bar when the lights come on at 3 a.m. (Never a pleasant sight.) So at the end of this controversial, world-altering announcement, we’re left wondering…

  • Why doesn’t Trump have dental implants?
  • Or did he just do a line of “covfefe”?

  • Was his throat just “dry,” as the White House claims? (File that one under: alternative facts.)
  • Or is this part of his transformation into Donald Duck?

Though I suppose they’re not that similar. After all, one is an angry cartoon character spouting gibberish and the other’s a duck.

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