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DACA: How the Cookie Crumbles

Sessions the Keebler Elf presents a different way of looking at the DACA announcement.

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Oh, sure, Donald Trump (via Jeff Sessions) may have killed DACA, along with the hopes and dreams of 800,000 children of undocumented immigrants, but worry not…! We’re not so much getting rid of DACA, insists Sessions the Keebler Elf, but rather transforming it into a different kind of DACA! Here’s how the DACA cookie crumbles under the Trump administration…

*All consumer complaints will be ignored

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Hillary Clinton on Trump Stalking Her During Debate: “What Would You Do?”

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Hard to forget the second presidential debate, when the Orange Clown followed Hillary around the stage, creepily peering down at her and licking his lips like a vapid vampire about to suck on her brain in hopes of consuming actual knowledge. Well, that freak show continues to haunt Hillary, as well, as she details in the first excerpts of her upcoming memoir, “What Happened,” which I plan to read with a box of tissues, copious glasses of wine and a Trump voodoo doll.

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Chelsea Clinton Scolds Conservative Website for Mocking Barron Trump

STOP DRESSING LIKE THE 11-YEAR-OLD YOU ARE, BARRON!

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I thought liberals were the only ones who turned on their own (see: the ridiculous reaction to Tina Fey’s “Weekend Update” appearance), but no…! Right-wing site The Daily Caller, which Tucker Carlson founded to publish “breaking stories of importance,” pissed all over 11-year-old Barron Trump for, well, dressing like an 11-year-old with a piece titled, “It’s High Time Barron Trump Starts Dressing Like He’s In the White House.”

A “breaking story of importance,” indeed.

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