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Breitbart Reporter Believes ‘Feminist Witches’ Are Placing Hexes on Trump

“Impeachmus!”

Finally! Breitbart reports real news!

This was spotted outside the White House. No joke.

A reporter for that pillar of journalism, Breitbart, appeared on the company’s radio show to defend an article he wrote suggesting that “feminists” are turning to witchcraft to combat President Donald Trump. Which would explain this:

Using the Twitter hashtag #MagicResistance, tech writer Charlie Nash told Breitbart editor-in-chief Alex Marlow that feminism and witchcraft have become “increasingly entwined.”

If he’s talking about voodoo dolls… I plead guilty.

There aren’t enough pins in the world…

Nash claims, “You’ve got the basic things like the Etsy stores, the Witchsy stores, where they link feminist issues with witchcraft and Wicca and there’s other kind of occult symbols, but then you also have these groups of people who are actually trying to hex the president.”

Fun fact: “Etsy” actually stands for “Eviscerate Trump She-Devil Yarns.”

According to Nash, feminist witches are joining together against Trump and are building elaborate “altars and tables with candles and pentagrams,” to create an “almost—a sense of sisterhood.”

Hocus Pussy-Hats…

“They have these other women which they can kind of get together and have a weird time with,’ he explained. (Ed. note: Is he talking about Pantsuit Nation? Pilates class…?) “Secondly, I think it scares religious people. Obviously, a lot of these people are atheistic. They like to wind up the Christians. And thirdly, I think they also have a kind of—they feel like they have a connection to the persecuted women of the Salem witch trials. They look at these women and see them as kind of as victims of patriarchy, almost.”

No “almost” about it. On a related note, “Feminist Witches” is totally going to be the name of my new all-girl metal tribute band

 

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