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BREAKING: Trump Announces He Will Prove Competence to World Leaders by Delivering Slinkys to Italy Earthquake Victims

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“These things’ll climb right down the piles of rubble!” Trump crowed before quickly returning to his private jet and Tweeting “Hillary’s too tired to pass out metal toys to earthquake victims in Belgium… Italy?…wherever. Sad! #WheresHillary”

EXCLUSIVE: Official Breakdown of Donald Trump’s Campaign Strategy

Happy National Dog Day!