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BREAKING: This Just in From Women Everywhere!

Ladies impart important global message.

According to BBC Two’s The Mash Report, “Women have told everyone to just f*ck off.”

This not-so-startling development is borne out of years of nonstop, nonsensical judgment, they report. “Tired of being judged for choosing to have children or not have children, to have children and go back to work, to have children and not go back to work, for being too thin, too fat, too pushy, too unambitious… or just daring to be alive… women have stressed that everyone can go f*ck themselves.”

Story developing as we continue to investigate the lack of f*cks women have to give…

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