I’d love to cover the debate as it apparently was meant to be addressed; however, Jerry Springer’s stage was not available, so I’ve settled for the second-most absurd manner: GIFs.
1. Hillary passed on shaking Donald’s hand — because now she knows where it’s been.
2. Trump allayed women’s concerns by clarifying all men in “locker rooms” brag about sexually assaulting women. Phew!
3. Trump tried his hand at comedy in the likely event this whole president thing doesn’t work out.
4. And if not comedy, then horror, as you can see from this movie trailer for Tuesday the 8th: Well-Qualified Woman vs. Creepy Pumpkin.
5. Transcript of Trump’s speech about health care policy.
6. Trump dismissed, er… discussed his VP candidate’s differing view on Syria.
7. Trump lived his worst nightmare: getting put in his place by two women and a gay man.
8. Trump answered his own questions.
9. Trump, who’s repeatedly claimed Hillary doesn’t have the “stamina” to be president, declares her best quality is that she never quits or gives up. Huh.
10. Tiffany lets the world know there aren’t enough Tic Tacs in the world…