in

5 Reasons Why Trump Can’t Be Found Guilty, According to His Crack Legal Team

The colors of Dowd’s tie really complement his client’s support of yellow journalism.

Trump’s personal lawyer and all-around jolly guy, John Dowd, is waving away Trump’s self-incriminating Tweet over the weekend — which admitted that he knew then-national security adviser Michael Flynn lied to the FBI about his contacts with the Russian ambassador before firing him in February — by claiming that the “president cannot obstruct justice because he is the chief law enforcement officer under [the Constitution’s Article II] and has every right to express his view of any case.”

Many legal experts may have scoffed at that “defense,” but little do they know Trump’s crack team has more clever “defense” strategies up their sleeve! Just look at these foolproof excuses…

#1 – Trump has a doctor’s note from his totally credible gastroenterological specialist declaring, “Trump is the most honest individual ever elected to presidency!”

#2 – They can prove Trump is abiding by the Constitution… of his choice, the Russian Constitution.

#3 – It wasn’t Trump who Tweeted that — it was his “publicist,” John Barron!

#4 – It’s all Obama’s and Crooked Hillary’s fault. Whatever it is, if it’s bad, they’re to blame. LOCK THEM UP!

#5 – Despite the constant negative press covfefe

THE DEFENSE RESTS.

Beautiful Christmas Carol for the 2017 Season: “Robert Mueller’s Comin’ to Town”

John Oliver vs. Dustin Hoffman: A Picture Story